Allow siblings to express their feelings about each other. Don't dismiss or suppress children's resentment or angry feelings. Children feel their parents understand them when their upset feelings are acknowledged. This can help them feel better and even treat another child better. Children need to know that although it's okay to become angry, these feelings do not give them license to behave in cruel and dangerous ways.
Don't make comparisons. It is only natural for parents to notice when one child is more cooperative or better behaved than another, but comparing siblings does not encourage better behavior. Comparison intensifies jealousy and envy. Instead of comparison, each child in the family should be given individual goals and expectations.
Equal distribution. If siblings frequently squabble over the same things, develop a system for equal distribution. For example, a rotation system could be set up in which the children take turns for such privileges as who decides what television program to record, who gets to choose where to go to eat lunch, etc.
But-treat children individually-not always equally. Some parents believe that the best way to avoid arguments is to strive for equality among all the children. However, it's a mistake to think that this will avoid arguments and sometimes it even encourages comparisons by the children. Instead, try to give to each child according to individual need. Rather than tell children that you love them equally, point out the special qualities that make them unique
Tips provided by: By Charles Neuhoff, M. A.
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